Mountains Out of Mole Hills
by LilyFlare
Summary: Sora realizes something about himself and it scares him more than anything ever has. Written: October 2008


A/N: This was just an attempt at portraying the guilt and fear that gays/bis feel when they first realize they're not straight and how they worry about what their loved ones will think. And also to try and show that even though it feels like the end of the world at the time, it's not that big a deal in the end.

* * *

Sora laid back in the sand as he watched his two best friends run around the beach. Kairi's auburn hair sparkled in the sun. Her infectious giggle ringing through the air. Kairi was so pretty. Sora wasn't sure when he'd realized he had a crush on her, but he didn't really care. He was content to watch her play in the sand and laugh every time Riku made a move to tickle her. Sora's gaze shifted to this other friend. Riku. His best friend since forever. They'd grown up on this island together and knew everything there was to know about each other. Sora couldn't imagine life without him. He watched as Riku's hair bounced around his face. His muscles flexing with each movement. Riku was just as cute as Kairi.

Sora sat up suddenly. Had he seriously just thought that? Since when did he think that Riku was cute? Wait. He took a deep breath. Maybe he was reading into this too much. Girls talked about other girls being cute all the time and it didn't mean anything. This was the same thing, right? It wasn't like he was confessing any feelings for Riku; he was just admitting that his friend had a nice body. "Ugh!" Sora buried his face into his hands. No matter how he tried to spin it, it still sounded gay.

"Sora? You ok?"

Sora looked up to see a concerned Kairi hovering over him. "Oh! Oh, yeah. Heh. Um, I just have a headache. Nothing serious."

"Oh, well, I don't have any aspirin on me or anything."

Riku wandered over to the other two, "Hey, you know, whenever I have a headache, a shoulder rub helps. You want?"

Sora stammered, "Uh… uh no. Th-that's ok. I um." He quickly stood up, "I think I'm just gonna go home and lie down. I'll catch you guys later." He turned and made a beeline for his house. Sheesh. No wonder he was having gay thoughts about Riku. Shoulder rub? Seriously? Sora's mind slowly drifted to images of a shirtless Riku, glistening in the sunlight and rubbing all his tensions away. He shook his head. What's wrong with me?! I like Kairi! The girl! Ugh! He stormed off towards his house, determined to push these weird thoughts to the back of his mind.

He stepped inside his house and slammed the front door shut. Just as he started up the stairs, his brother Roxas, appeared around the corner. "Sora? Something wrong?"

Sora stopped. He usually talked to Roxas about everything. But this… he wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't sure he should say anything at all. Yeah. Maybe there was nothing to tell. "Oh, uh, sorry. I've got a headache."

Roxas quirked an eyebrow, "You have a headache, so you slam a door?"

"Er…" Sora trailed off. He suddenly wanted to tell Roxas everything. But why? He'd only just had these weird thoughts. Right? Or maybe… he'd had them for a while now, but was just realizing it. But that still didn't give any validity to them. They were just weird thoughts. Nothing worth discussing. Nothing. Right. They weren't making him feel strangely guilty and ashamed. Nope. "Um, yeah. I'm gonna take a nap." He hurried up the stairs, determined to end the conversation.

Roxas however, wasn't that easily deterred. Sora always shared everything with him. When something was bugging the brunette, Roxas was the one who he confided in. The fact that Sora wasn't telling him what was wrong this time meant that it either had to do with him or it was something really, really bad. Like murdered someone bad. Roxas headed up the stairs to Sora's bedroom. He knocked on the door once he discovered it was locked. "Sora. Come on. What's wrong?"

Sora sighed into his pillow. Crap. He should have known Roxas wouldn't let it go that easy. If only he were better at lying. "Nothing Rox. I'm fine. Just tired."

"You know that's bull Sora." He called back. "It was written all over your face. Now what did you do that's so horrible you can't even tell me?"

Sora bit at his lip. Roxas had a point. A guy crushing on another guy wasn't catastrophic. Sora blinked. No. He was not crushing on Riku. Dammit. He liked girls. He was not some creepy homo. They were looked down on and he wasn't gonna be one of them. Think of how Roxas would feel. How his parents would feel. They'd all turn their backs on him. Think he was some kind of freak. They might even be scared of him. No. He wasn't going to do that to them. He was better than that. He liked Kairi. End of story. "It's fine Rox. I… I was upset about something, but it's fine now."

Roxas paused, "Well, if it's fine, then tell me about it. Maybe we'll get a good laugh out of it."

Damn he was persistent. "Come on Rox. Let it go. It was nothing big." Yes it was, but Roxas didn't need to know that.

"Then tell me."

Sora groaned, "No! Now go away!"

Roxas began to rack his brain. What on Earth could Sora have been upset about that was resolved by him slamming the front door and locking himself in his room? Nothing. Meaning that it wasn't resolved. "Sora, there's no way you could have been that upset about something and now it's fine. Unless you've completely lost it."

Sora snorted. Maybe he had. Thinking his friend was cute. What was wrong with him? That was just sick.

"Sora if you don't talk to me, I'll tell mom when she gets home."

Sora froze. Roxas was persistent. His mother was relentless. Fine, he'd give in, but maybe he could twist it somehow so he didn't have to tell his brother the real story. He crawled off his bed and unlocked the door.

Roxas heard the door handle click and tried it. He pushed it opened and stepped inside as Sora flopped back down on his bed. "So what's this all about?"

"It's nothing ok. It's stupid."

"If it's so insignificant, then why won't you tell me?"

Sora sat up and hugged one of his pillows to his chest. "Alright look. I… I um…" He glanced around the room. "You know how I like Kairi right?"

"Did she turn you down?" Roxas asked worriedly.

"No, no. I still haven't told her. But…" He swallowed hard. "I think… I thought… I… well, today I thought one of her friends was cute too."

Roxas slowly let a smirk creep across his face, "That's it? Don't tell me you feel like you're cheating on her or something. You've never even asked her out."

"No! I… her friend… is um… is a… is ugly!" Sora blurted out.

Roxas scrunched up his face. "You think Kairi's ugly friend is cute?"

"We-well, I don't think" He paused, catching himself, "she's ugly. Others do. And I'm just worried what others would think."

"Why would you care what others think Sora? If you think she's pretty, what's wrong with that? Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, ya know?"

Sora thought for a moment, "So… so like, you wouldn't be grossed out by me and never talk to me again?"

Roxas chuckled and sat down next to his brother. He put an arm around his shoulders, "Sora. You're my brother and you've done lots of stupid, weird things before. Have I ever once stopped talking to you?"

Sora felt stupid, "No."

"So see. Nothing you do can scare me off. Now then. Are you gonna pursue Kairi's friend instead is the question."

Sora looked up, "What? No. I… I like Kairi more. I think. I mean, I think I like them the same."

"Ooh, now that is a dilemma. Not for sure, but I'm thinking Kairi's not a ménage à trois type of girl."

Sora blushed. "Well, I've liked Kairi for as long as I've known her, but I just realized today that I might like him just as much."

Roxas tensed. Had Sora just said what he thought he had?

Just as suddenly, the realization hit Sora that he had slipped up and he wondered if Roxas had noticed. He waited desperately for a reply.

Roxas decided not to call him on it. He shouldn't have forced Sora to talk about this after all. If Sora was gay or bi or something, he'd let Roxas know in his own time. "Well, I think the only thing you can do is continue to be friends with both of them and see where it goes. Kind of play it by ear, ya know?"

Sora smiled up at his brother. He knew Roxas had heard. Roxas always caught all his stupid slip ups. But he wasn't making a big deal out of it. So… maybe it wasn't a big deal. He gave his brother a sideways hug. "Thanks. I feel a lot better now."

Roxas smiled as he stood. "Don't worry about it. That's what I'm here for. And remember that too. You can always talk to me."

Sora nodded. "I know."

Roxas left the room and pulled the door shut behind him. Sora laid back on his bed. He was feeling a lot more relieved now. If it turned out that Sora really was crushing on Riku and if everyone turned their backs on him because of it, he'd still have one person he could count on. That doesn't sound like much, but when the world feels like it's crashing down on you, one friend is enough.


End file.
